Welcome to petalstothemetalgallery.com, home of fine digital floral art, featuring images
created from start to spinach by yours truly, eddie murray pietrzak.
I call my art, "un-photography." To learn why, scroll on down..."below the fold".
.
Whether framed or unframed, enlarged onto canvas or hand-crafted into "Killer Kards",
I hope you enjoy my images as much as I enjoy creating them.
cheers, eddie
eddie murray pietrzak, owner/founder
petalstothemetalgallery.com
231 "E" Avenue
Coronado, CA 92118-1322
619-865-1672
more
TOP SECRET "UN-PHOTOGRAPHY" UNPLUGGED TOP SECRET
Now remember, sports fans, the following intel is just between you and me (...and all of cyber-space),
so mum's the word. Capisci? "...oh-tay!" Petalstothemetalgallery.com contains no photography whatsoever.
Rather, each image begins as a large format "scan" of select flowers picked from our back yard and
painstakingly arranged by hand directly onto the glass surface of a state of the art XEROX DocuColor 252.
...long-winded, isn't he? (quite)
Once the flowers have been placed atop the glass, the lid of the copier/scanner is left open just enough
to keep from smooshing the "arrangement". Then, the START button is pressed, and voila, a once-hidden image
is revealed, ready to be manipulated further (enlarging/centering/zooming) until the composition is to
my liking. On the other hand, when an image isn't up to snuff, which, alas, happens more often than I'd
care to admit, the not-ready-for-prime-time offender gets the old spike-a-roo.
C'est la vie... C'est la guerre...
Because of the upside-down bass-ackward process and its oft-surprising results, I at times find myself
laughing out loud (...or at least chuckling) in astonishment. Okay, okay, so I'm easily amused.
Thankfully, Mother Nature does the heavy lifting while I have all the fun.
Far out. Solid. ...got awesome?
By arranging cut flowers directly onto the glass (...it takes simple minds, folks) facing downward into
the guts of the machine, nature's perfection (...and imperfection) may be captured in a new way.
No cameras, no computers, just Mother Nature, XEROX, and me, plus an obligatory
wilderness of trial and error into which your humble servant eddie happily
wanders in his clumsy search for the quintessential image.
"Can you dig it?" axed Uma? ("I knew that you could!")
###
"...and now for something completely diffferent!"
Welcome, welcome, one and all, to the vault, the works, the whole enchilada,
where my myriad images, including many "...moldy oldies from the groove-yard of forgotten favorites",
are "...submitted for your approval", and, most importantly, to satisfy the vanity of you know who.
...oh, brother. ...make him stop.
If an image tickles your fancy, but is not available in the desired format, please contact me directly
via e-mail or voicemail to arrange a special order. Leave a message. I'll get back atcha.
And now, fellow bozos ("...we're all bozos on this bus."), lettuce take thyme to venture
"...forward, into the past", by fearlessly entering "...the vault of mindless fellowship",
known to the uninitiated as petalstothemetalgallery.com.
!
Therefore follow!
"But! Follow only if ye be men (and women) of valor, for the entrance to eddie's gallery is guarded by a
creature so foul, so cruel that no customer yet has shopped therein and left!
Bones of four fifty art lovers lie strewn about its lair. So, brave shoppers, if you do doubt your courage
or your strength, come no further, for beauty awaits you all
with big soft velvet petals!"
"...and now--------The Spanish Inquisition!"
-30-
"You're still here?"
"It's over."
"Go home."
"Go."
###
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, NOT
To atone for stolen lines, borrowed references, and creative license
undertaken herein by yours truly (...it could happen),
I hereby offer insincere apologies and feeble unfelt thanks
to the following individuals and entities:
eddie murphy circa early saturday night live for his spot-on buckwheat's equally spot-on, "...o-tay,"
rush limbaugh for his, "...moldy oldies from the groove-yard of forgotten favorites,"
the twilight zone's rod serling for his trademark phrase, "...submitted for your approval,"
firesign theater (of don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers fame) for, "...the vault of mindless fellowship,"
as well as, "...forward, into the past," and not to mention the classic, "...we're all bozos on this bus."
monty python's flying circus for so many references including tim the enchanter's admonishment:
"...to the north there lies a cave, the cave of Kyre Banorg--wherein, carved in mystic runes
upon the very living rock, the last words of Ulfin Bedweer of Regett
proclaim the last resting place of the most Holy Grail.
Follow! But! Follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a
creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived!
Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage
or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth!"
"...no one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
"...and now for something completely different,"
uma thurman, who in pulp fiction axed, "...can you dig it?" and answered, "...i knew that you could!"
and finally, fittingly, to ferris buehler, for his famous last words, "...you're still here? It's over. Go home. Go."
###
NO! WAIT!
DON'T GO HOME!
INSTEAD, GO TO MY STORE!
LOAD UP YOUR SHOPPING CART!
AND BUY, BUY, BUY!
(...shameless, simply shameless)
-30-
(...for reals this thyme)